Improving Romance Connection
Lets face it, it doesn’t matter what role you have (Man or Woman, Leader or Follower), Romance and Partner Dancing is challenging.
Although Romance is a Dance presents in detail the roles of both man/leader and woman/follower, what can seriously help one improve in their romantic or dancing life, is to learn and practise the opposite role.
Learning and practising the opposite role helps one gain appreciation and understanding of another who typically plays that role and their respective challenges.
When women become the pursuers of men, they discover how hard it can be for a man to captivate a woman’s attention sensitively and build rapport beyond a physical attraction. Likewise men may feel pressured or smothered by a woman who is pursuing them too much or at an inappropriate time.
When a leader becomes a follower, they discover how difficult it can be to listen sensitively. They also discover the annoyance that comes with a leader who sends indecisive messages through their intentions.
When a follower becomes a leader, they discover how difficult it can be to consistently be clear with the intentions they want to follower to respond to. They also learn to appreciate the incredible challenge of creating interesting choreographies that correctly match the timing in the music.
Of coarse, one needs to make sure they already know what role they are currently being in their romantic lives before they decide to practise the other role. For instance: Some men act as though they are typical women – wanting to be pursued. And some women act as though they are typical men – actively being the pursuers. This doesn’t mean you can’t live a life different than the norm. It just means that you must first determine the role you instinctively want to be, and find another person who instinctively wants to play the opposite role to you – in order to have a healthy functioning relationship.
If two people are essentially performing the same role, frustration will show up immediately in a romance or a dance. This is like two people who are consistently telling each other what they should be doing and consequently clash in their opinions. It can also be like two people who are too afraid or indifferent about showing their true desires and interests with each other; consequently creating a vacuum of boredom and lack of passion in a relationship. For the relationship to work out, one person needs to take on more of the opposite role.
The wonderful thing about taking dancing lessons, is that you can choose which role you want to learn. It may feel unnatural to ask a dance instructor to teach you the other role, but many dance instructors know this is one of the best ways for a dancer to improve their dancing technique overall. Some instructors even suggest learning the opposite role first, before learning the primary role they want to learn.
Switching roles challenges us to improve our communication and deepen our understanding of each other’s needs in both romantic and dancing relationships. Try it for yourself, may just change your entire life!
We learn by practice.
Whether it means learning to dance by practising dancing
or learning to live by practising living, the principles are the same.
~ Martha Graham